I Have What????

The diagnosis? Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome

The prognosis? Amputation from the neck down.

Ok - so I exaggerate. But it's true - I have been diagnosed with Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, also known simply as "Runner's Knee."

In short, there’s pain behind the knee cap and is usually caused by over-use in sports such as running, biking and jumping – I do all of the above . . .

The knee cap is attached to your thigh with quadricep muscles and connected to your shinbone with patella tendons. The knee cap itself sits in a groove where your thigh bone ends and your shin begins.

A healthy knee cap is supposed to glide up and down over this groove, and the connecting muscles are supposed to stabilize it and move the cap back into place.

With over use, the quadriceps can become weak and cease to provide proper support, or there’s a breakdown in the meniscus (surrounding the knee cap) and that can cause your knee cap to glide in the wrong direction.

In my case, the knee cap is pulling to the right and pulling my ligaments and muscles with it, causing a lot of stiffness, swelling, and stress on my shin.

For me, this didn’t make sense because I lift weights regularly and love to run – so I should have strong quad muscles. But, this is my left knee and it has always been the “bum limb.”

I broke the Tibia and Fibula when I was 5. Apparently, these major bones in your shin aren't flexible when you're trying to do a cartwheel on your bed. My leg was literally sideways and had to be set. Talk about a rough way to end your first day of Kindergarten.

Then when I was 21, I broke it again in a swimming pool. It’s a long story, but let’s say the lesson is: when going down a pool slide, keep your legs straight out in front of you.

I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it’s a miracle I can even run and play sports as aggressively as I do. Part of me feels like I’m making up for lost time when I couldn’t’ move my leg. Another part of me is wondering if I’m punishing my bones for allowing themselves to brake in the first place.

That sound nuts, but hear me out. I like control. I like to be in control. Not of other people, but definitely of my own life. Why shouldn’t I be? It’s my life and having an injury isn’t a part of my plan. I am very much OUT of control here.

I have a cat-scan scheduled for the beginning of November to get a closer look at an un-identified object that’s taken up residence in my leg, and I’ll start physical therapy at the end of the month. In the mean time . . .

NO RUNNING (woe to me), no squats, no lunges, no jump training, no sprinting, no hills, no donkey kicks, no hammy-ball work. Nada. I’ve been reduced to working my upper body and the elliptical.

The sports doctor offered to give me a steroid shot to help with the pain. But I declined and took a prescription of Piroxicam instead (really strong Aleve).

“I’m not going to lie,” he said, “Physical Therapy will hurt; so I’ll leave the steroid shot option open for you.”

Bring it on - I don’t like pain. But a part of me feels that I’ve earned the right to love running, I caused the injury by not resting, the least I can do to make peace with my body is to go all natural as long as I can.

Running has the ability to show you what you’re made of. When you feel like you’re about to swallow your heart and your legs are going to pop off and find a new owner – you keep pushing until you meet your goal. You’ve earned that.

I want to see what I’m made of in physical therapy. Not how much I can push my physical body – I know what she’s made of. But I have a feeling this experience is going to be a test of my mental strength, something I haven’t experienced in a while . . . and I think it’s time to wake her up.