Single Awareness Day

It's February - Quick! What comes to your mind?

Chances are, something like this floats in?  

Yes, it's that time of year where love is celebrated (and measured) with the giving of chocolates, flowers, cards and the occasional wedding proposal.

Pink and red are everywhere, accented with hints of lace which provide one with that warm and fuzzy feeling . . . and a subtle reminder of what to buy that special someone.

Taking time to remember how much we love others is a wonderful thing; especially when it feels like the world is just groaning with suffering and bad news.

Maybe it's a bit overdone with the consumerism attitude and retail stores implying that "bigger is better." But it's the principle of the holiday that counts; letting someone know how important they are to you.

However, like all things, there is another side . . .

A dark side . . .

A side that no one wants to talk about if it happens to them . . .
Something you hope goes away if you hide under the covers . . .
Something society portrays as an absolute failure of the human race.

 . . . Being single on Valentine's Day . . . 

dun dun dun

For some, it's a fate worse than death. At least, that's how it is seen in the movies.

Now, there's nothing wrong with being single. I consider myself to be a professional on the subject and can freely admit that I was one of those girls who wished she could bury herself under the covers until the 24 hours of celebrating were over.

 Although you're the only person who knows your single, you feel as if the world detects your "disease" and everyone looks at you with rose colored pity they don't normally feel for you the rest of the year.

This may not be what happens, but as a singleton, it's what it feels like.

One year, I received my very own Valentine in the mail. What a surprise!

When I called to thank the sender, she responded, "Well, you don't have anyone to send you one, so I thought I would."

 Yes, somebody actually said that to me.

 As a single person you're used to people making suggestions about potential matches, answering the age old question every relative asks: "So...who are you dating?" And let's not forget the added pressure from commercials about how "easy" online dating is.

I don't think dating online is easy. It's time consuming, stressful, and you hear the phrase, "I have such a connection to you" so many times you start to wonder if monogamy is going out of style.

Single-hood is an uncomfortable subject - mostly for the non-singletons. They get a mortified look on their face whenever they ask you if you’re dating anyone. You in turn feel their discomfort and embarrassment that you have nothing new to report. Then you feel shame because while you can handle a full-time job, daily workouts, mentoring, planning Bible study lessons and writing weekly blog postings, you can't manage something so simple as getting asked out on a date.

For years I would dread February 14th as a huge reminder of my "failure." That one thing I couldn't grab. That one "success" I hadn't mastered.

I reached the height of my embarrassment last year when a youth leader at my church made this unwitting remark: "Valentine's Day . . . ha ha . . .  also known as 'Single Awareness Day.'"

No one knew that I was a singleton and yet, my face turned scarlet; because he had a point.

Most often than not, singles feel VERY aware of their singleness . . . and even feel bad for it when February 14^th rolls around.

And I was tired of it.

Tired of feeling guilty and bad about myself when fact of the matter is, my relationship status has no reflection of who I am as a person.

It's just a label.

Then I saw the double meaning.

SINGLES HAD THEIR OWN NATIONAL HOLIDAY!

Finally I'm being celebrated! And I'm done feeling embarrassed or shame that my "relationship status" on my Facebook page hasn't changed in a while.

It wasn't this one statement that helped my dread of Valentine's day; it was a culmination of things which I might tell you about one day.

One thing's for sure, you'll find this girl remembering to tell the people around her how much she loves them, not lost under the covers because no one is showering her with roses.

Although, one might be nice. . .